I had to learn to deal with disappointments early on in my life. And thank goodness for that because there’s no denying, life is full of them! As was made clear with my most recent luxury purchase:
Yes, the cat’s out of the bag: the Chanel bag I bought from a luxury second hand store is, after all, fake… What makes my disappointment even worse is the fact that we really checked everything! Inside and out, we made sure that everything indicating the bag’s authenticity was there.
And still we missed the tiniest, smallest detail: the seams. If a Chanel bag has outside pockets, the diamond stitching on the pocket has to match the bag’s stitching perfectly, absolutely and 100%. Mine didn’t… Barely, that’s why we missed it the first time.
The disappointment I felt after the realization was palpable. And recovering from it was an interesting process, so I thought I’d share it with you here.
How to Deal With Disappointments
Discovering that a purchase, especially a high-value one like a Chanel bag, is fake can be deeply disappointing and frustrating. And while wallowing in the mixture of rage and shame I realized that it’s been a long while since I’ve had a proper disappointment in life.
In general, my life has been a plethora of disappointments one after the other, always getting bigger and bigger. So, I’ve got plenty of experience when it comes to navigating my way out of that hell-hole of negativity.
And I thought I’d share my expertise with y’all today! Here’s how to deal with disappointments:
- Acknowledging all the feels
As a woman I have this thing called intuition. And to be fair, it has never been wrong. But the thing is, I sometimes ignore it. I think this is a classic case of ignoring what my gut was telling me, because I honestly knew!
- The ridiculously cheap price (even for a second hand purchase).
- A weirdly sticking corner with an inexplicable stitch.
- The haphazardly made duffel bag (at least it was included).
Still, fucken hell it stings when you actually admit to yourself that you effed up. At that point I recommend that you just feel all the feels. Let them come, it’s okay to feel upset, betrayed, or disappointed.
To deal with disappointments is to acknowledge these feelings instead of pushing them away. And remember, we all fuck up all the time. Most of us every day! We’re only humans, and as such we’re not special at all.
And in order to move on we need to understand what specifically bothers us. This helps to process your emotions.
- Educating oneself
Once the most prominent and violent feelings have gone by (because they do!), it’s time to take a good, hard look in the mirror. We made a mistake, how can we ensure we don’t make the same mistake again?
For me it started from simply googling what I had missed with my fake Chanel bag. I did a lot of research on the key indicators of an authentic Chanel bag for future reference. Also, understanding how and why counterfeit luxury brand bags are produced in the first place provided some perspective.
And that always helps to deal with disappointments and reduce feeling like a failure. For example,
- I discovered that some bags that are sold as ‘fakes’ are actually original brand bags.
- But for whatever reason some bags don’t turn out perfect, there are mistakes and faults in materials, stitching, etc.
- These bags are sometimes sold as fakes. Basically they’re genuine but imperfect individuals.
- If appropriate, take action!
Now, if you buy brand items from a store (online or otherwise) that seem legit, but then the items turn out to be fake, you have the right to get your money back. In this case, the first thing to do is to report the incident:
- If you bought the bag from a retailer or online platform, report the counterfeit item to help prevent others from being deceived.
- For online platforms, use their customer service or dispute resolution channels.
- For physical stores, contact the store management or local consumer protection authorities.
- Also, report to the brand’s official channels, and file a report with local consumer protection agencies.
Then it’s time to check if you can get a refund or exchange through your payment method, such as credit card protection or PayPal dispute resolution. Getting one’s money back is probably the best way to deal with disappointments, right?
Now, for me none of this applied: I bought the fake Chanel in a second hand store, so there’s no return policy. If I end up deciding that I don’t wish to be seen outdoors with that bag I’ll just gift it to a friend or a family member… Which is very likely.
- Sharing the pain is halving the pain
When you find yourself in a situation where you have to deal with disappointments it’s always good to have someone to talk to. After vomiting all of the feels out to someone you trust you feel a lot lighter immediately.
Sympathy always helps, and you might even find that your friends and family have had similar experiences. Sharing the pain literally halves the pain.
And if you need a wider support network, the online world is full of forums and social media groups where you can find people going through the same thing. They can provide support and advice on dealing with the issues, and you can also support others. It’s a win-win!
- Shake it off and move on
Once you’ve off-loaded the disappointment you already feel a lot better about continuing life as you had done before it occurred. Remind yourself again of the fact that we all make mistakes constantly.
And the more of us talk about how we deal with disappointments, the more people will come forward with their stories. Once we’re admitted to ourselves that we fucked up but we’re still standing and breathing, it’s time to shake it off and move on.
Engaging in activities that make you happy or focusing on hobbies you enjoy helps to distract you from the disappointment. Mistakes happen, and each experience can be a valuable lesson that helps us to make better decisions in the future.
Final Thought – The Lessons Learned
At the end of the day when you deal with disappointments you always learn something new. And that can never be a bad thing! Whether it’s about you or an industry or a pattern of behaviour, the lessons make it easier for you to navigate life.
The number one lesson I learned in this case of the Fake Chanel was to never buy luxury brand items in second hand stores again. If in the future I require something that has a price tag of over 1 000€￡$, then I’ll buy it from that brand specifically.
At the end of the day, even if the Chanel bag had been genuine, it didn’t feel like a luxury purchase when I only paid 150€ for it… Serves me right trying to go over the fence where it’s lowest. I’ll sure do better next time!
