Slow life is trending, and we can expect it to trend harder each year! That’s the kind of life we were made for, not this capitalism-centered way to exist to serve others.
In fact slow lifestyle was the general living standard before capitalism was invented in the early 90’s. The sad fact is that within just 100 years consumerism made us forget about the most important life values. As a result we’ve lost the capability to live our lives as we want to.
And for change to happen we needed a massive disaster. The pandemic locked us into our homes, and that’s when we had to take a good, hard look around. We started questioning things we never had time or energy to question before:
- why did I marry this person?
- how have I been prioritising work over my family?
- why am I still friends with these people who clearly never liked me?
- should I actually travel to the office when I can just as well work from home and save all that time I’d otherwise waste on commuting?
The realities of work, and the damage it often causes in our personal lives, were suddenly brought out into the open. As a result, we’ve seen massive shifts in what people prioritise in life. Turns out the biggest resource that we have been missing for too long is time.
Time to do things that inspire us; time to hang out with the people we love; time to stop and enjoy this one life we have. For too long we’ve been robbed of the privilege to create a life that’s worth living.
It’s time to claim it all back! And one of the easiest ways to do that, is to get acquainted with slow life.
What does Slow Life mean?
It’ll come as no surprise that slow living was ‘invented’ in Italy. In the 80’s a Slow Movement was established to rebel against global fast food giants that were infiltrating their way into the country.
Italy prides itself in its appreciation for quality ingredients and the process of cooking authentic food, so it was a natural starting point for the Slow Movement. It was quickly followed by other movements, like Slow Travel and Cittaslow.
The basic philosophy behind slow life is to, yes, slow down. Not ‘slow down’ in terms of walking more slowly (although that wouldn’t hurt!), but in terms of slowing down the pace with which you live your life.
It’s no secret that women especially struggle under societal pressures. These pressures don’t just mean expectations to do well professionally while also having a family, but include the demands to always look good (whatever that means) and to please everyone around you.
Slow life is a way for these individuals to start taking their power back by focusing on things that actually matter. Funnily enough those things do not include societal expectations or professional goals.
By finding a healthy balance in one’s personal life, they automatically do better in their professional and social life as well.
I’ve got bad news for those who are obsessed with executing life, though. You can’t execute a slow life or win rewards living like that. What you can get from it, though, is personal peace and happiness. Is that something you’d be interested in?
If yes, I would like to introduce you to some of the benefits that slow living can bring your way once you embrace it:
Benefits of slow life
Now, even though you can’t execute a slow life, you’ll be happy to know that rearranging your life this way can benefit you physically, mentally and emotionally. That’s all something that fits in your list of life goals, right? So, let’s see what practical benefits slow living could bring you:
- Reduce stress: Slowing down the pace of your life automatically reduces stress and anxiety. This is achieved by learning to prioritise the things that actually matter and that bring you joy and peace of mind.
- Better mental health: By taking care of your own wellbeing first, you improve your mental health without even noticing. Your mind is clearer, you can focus better, and you can be present to enjoy those moments in life that really matter. THAT is where happiness comes from.
- Improved physical health: Once you get your life values in order, and thus reduce stress and anxiety, you start sleeping better. And good sleep is the base on which you build better mental and physical health. With more energy you can improve your physical fitness, which in turn reduces the risk of many illnesses and diseases.
- Stronger relationships: When your mind and schedule are calm, you can be present in social situations. This improves the quality of your relationships, which promotes a sense of community. This contributes to us feeling happy. We all need to feel like we belong, and we all need support sometimes.
- More motivation and inspiration: By slowing your pace, you release a lot of time and energy that went to waste before. This excess time and energy is where creativity and inspiration lie. Allowing creativity to flow we can find a greater sense of fulfilment and a better purpose in life than working ourselves to death.
What slow life is NOT:
To avoid any misconceptions about what slow life actually entails, let’s look at what it is NOT.
- Slow life = being lazy or unproductive: Of course it doesn’t! That’s what your employer might tell you. But here’s the twist: by prioritizing self-care, connection, and meaningful life and work, you actually increase your productivity and the quality of your work.
- It’s impossible to live slowly in a big city: It’s true that slow life is much easier to practice when you are surrounded by nature, but being stuck in a city definitely doesn’t rule it out. It’s all about your inner world, so your location is completely irrelevant.
- Slow living means giving up technology: Let’s not kid a kiddo, giving up technology completely is basically impossible. But being addicted to it is a completely different matter, so let us not mix those two. Slow living will encourage you to be more mindful of what kind of technology you use and for what purpose.
- Only rich people can afford slow life: Absolutely not! While healthy food is unfortunately often unaffordable for those who most need it, this doesn’t apply to slow living at all. Slow life is literally the opposite of spending any money: it is about your life values, finding a purpose in what you do on a daily basis and feeling like you live a life that matters. None of that requires any money.
To put it very simply, slow living is all about finding a work-life balance that benefits you, not your employer or family or a stranger on a bus. Because if you’re not happy with your life, why would anyone else be happy with you?
So, how do we achieve this magical way of being? Let’s see!
Slow Life & How to Achieve It
Within the past 10 years alone work life has greatly surpassed the boundaries of employees’ personal lives. And that is unacceptable. Especially when we basically work to fill our employer’s coffers but don’t earn enough to keep food on the table ourselves for all that effort. Now, why would we keep on supporting a slave system like that?
Being busy has for a long time now been a thang that people brag about. But when you’re always “busy”, what it actually says about you, is that you’re completely incompetent with managing your time. Not flattering, is it? Definitely not very professional.
So, let’s take a step back and admit that the professional world of today was not built to benefit us. If you’re tired of being bossed around by people who don’t know how to use a printer, take your power back today!
1 Ask yourself “Am I actually busy?”
Let’s start from the beginning: why do you think you’re busy? Seriously, what does ‘being busy’ actually mean to you? And if you literally are drowning in work, because you’re doing the work of 3 people, ask yourself why on Earth would you do that?
If you do the work of 3 people, are you paid acccordinly? No? I thought so. Do you at least get a bonus at the end of the year for all your effort? Not that either? How surprising. Oh, no wait, it isn’t!
I’m gonna be really honest with you, and this may sting a little: if work without getting paid for it, you are an idiot. You are being used, and you know it. So, why do you do it?
Your employment contract should include a list of tasks and expectations that you need to fill in return for salary. It’s up to you to make sure you do not do more than what is expected.
If you’re required to do more work, then you must be paid accordingly. And no, it’s not quiet quitting, it’s SELF-RESPECT.
You ‘being busy’ actually means you’re just allowing employment abuse. Don’t be a twat.
2 Define your life values / purpose in life
Do you know what your life values are? Most people don’t, and that’s actually quite worrying. Life values are the base of slow life, the force that drives you towards a fulfilling life. Life values are “the fundamental core beliefs that guide your behaviours and goals and help you measure your overall success in your life”.
Would you say working to death without proper pay is your life value? Research shows that the biggest regret people have on their deathbed is putting work ahead of their family and personal life. You wanna join that miserable crew?
In practice life values can be the simplest things that are the base of your personality and the way you wish to live your life. Things like kindness, spirituality, honesty, family, freedom, etc. For example, my core value is freedom.
Freedom to do whatever I want, go wherever I want whenever I want. Also freedom to dress exactly as I want and to express myself in ways that I choose. And freedom to eat exactly what you want.
Those who are aware of their life values tend to be more mentally stable and driven. They know what their purpose is and they live accordingly, which creates the feeling of fulfilment. That is happiness.
It’s important to understand that life values come from within us. Thus doing well at work is not a life value, it’s an external factor.
3 Learn to say ‘no’!
Oooh yes, it’s a hard one! But it’s bloody necessary if you wish to take power back over your own life. Basically, if you’ve been a ‘yes-man’ for most of your life, you’re gonna have to flip that around completely right about NOW!
Yep, you’re gonna start saying ‘no’ to everything. And once you master it, then you can start saying ‘yes’ to things that matter to you most. But only to those things!
Desperate times require desperate measures. In order to teach you to say ‘no’, I suggest you start by establishing clear boundaries and teaching yourself the word ‘no’.
Establishing boundaries is a fundamental aspect of slow life. Boundaries set the bar for how much bullshit you allow into your life.
Healthy boundaries can look like not allowing people to shout at you. If your colleague or employer is shouting at you, you calmly tell them that you don’t need to put up with that, and walk away. You can continue the discussion once they’ve calmed down. And if they don’t calm down, they can go fuck themselves. It’s not your company, so it’s not your problem.
And once we are clear on our personal boundaries, we teach ourselves the word ‘no’. Yes, you just repeat it.
- Try different tones of voice.
- Find the kind of ‘no’ that feels natural for you to say.
- Repeat until it flows off your lips like other words.
Once you start using this newly learned word in public, it’s important to stay patient, kind and compassionate. You have taught everyone that they are free to use you as they please. So, now you must be patient with them while they get used to this new, more confident you.
4 Practice being present
Now we have established our purpose in life and learned to say ‘no’ through establishing healthy boundaries. We’ve got all the practicalities in check for leading a slow life. Next we need to work on healing our inner world.
Are you one of those people who can’t just lie on a couch without feeling guilty for not doing something? Even though you know there’s nothing that needs to be done right now. You still can’t find peace because your mind is racing.
Well, it’s time to learn to be present. Many would suggest meditating, but let’s be honest, if your mind is racing, it’s fucking racing! So instead, start paying specific attention to everything that you’re doing. For example:
- when you’re washing your teeth, focus on the process, the feeling, the action, the moment
- while eating, pay attention to how many times you chew and try to taste every flavour
- if you’re with your friends, focus on them, the conversation, the tones of voices, expressions, the emotions the conversation awakens, etc.
To make sure you succeed in staying present, this automatically brings us to the next important tip:
5 Embark on a digital detox
Let’s be honest here, we all need this! The biggest hindrance for slow life and being present in the moment is technology and especially social media. Those cold and empty realms of a fake reality that we should learn to avoid.
While social media, movies and video games can be a great distraction, they too easily disrupt our actual lives. This benefits nobody, least of all you. You have no idea what you’re eating because your focus is on a TikTok video. When your attention is outside of your current reality, you lose contact with the people you’re sitting at the table with.
You can’t complain that you can’t find happiness if you constantly distract yourself with external things. Also, you can’t be completely present if your phone is beeping in front of your face all the time. Put it away, and do that more and more often every day.
The day will come when you notice you don’t need those distractions anymore.
6 Admit that your life is more important than work
By now we understand what slow life is and how to live it. So, it’s time to tackle the hard core shit. As hard as it is to admit, you’ve been allowing something as trivial as work to control the way you live your own life. Ouch!
Fact of the matter is that if you continue to put work before health and happiness, you’ll lose your health and guess what? Then you won’t have EITHER! And while you can get another job, returning to good health isn’t always so simple. So please, don’t go pushing yourself over the limit, you are replaceable.
It’s time to start building your weekly schedule in a different manner: personal life first, work commitments second. When you prioritise your personal life, you are literally living a slow life because you prioritise your purpose.
Just like learning to say ‘no’, this can be a process, so you need to allow yourself the time and patience required to achieve it. Accept that you can’t fail, because it’s your life and you are in charge of it. And then set yourself a boundary to ensure that you don’t allow yourself to be used by others.
While in the learning process, be compassionate and kind to yourself. Allow yourself the patience that you previously gifted to your employer, colleagues, acquaintances and family while they shamelessly used you.
